Keep Walking—You Might Find a Different Answer

I am on the bus from Zhoushan back to Ningbo. After days of cloud, the sky has finally cleared.

The weather has been a little like a child lately: tears one moment, all smiles again the next. 😂

Travelling alone gave me more to think about than I expected.

I would encourage anyone curious about it to try a solo trip. There is something useful about having to spend time with yourself, without immediately reaching for someone else or another screen.

The Chinese word shendu comes to mind: being mindful of how you conduct yourself even when no one is watching. For me, this trip also brought up a simpler question—can I be comfortable in my own company?

Leaving a little time each day without social media or a stream of updates has felt surprisingly good. Just a quiet stretch in which nothing needs an immediate response.

On your own, you can stop when something catches your eye and move on when you feel like it. I liked that freedom.

I also want to spend less time replaying decisions that are already behind me. Regret rarely changes what happened. It can, however, take up an extraordinary amount of the present.

A little further along the coast

At Dongsha Beach in Zhoushan, I was surprised to find an entrance fee—and a crowd so thick that the Chinese expression “dumplings in a pot” felt unusually accurate.

So I kept walking along the coast.

The further I went, the fewer people there were. Eventually, I reached a stretch that was almost empty. The water looked clearer there, and the shoreline where I stood appeared to slope gently. For a moment, it felt as though I had the whole beach to myself. I was ridiculously happy. 😃

I kept wondering why more people had not walked a little further.

That question stayed with me beyond the beach. Sometimes another answer is close enough to reach on foot, if I am willing to leave the obvious stopping point.

I do not want to spend all my time waiting for the right weather, the right companion, or someone who wants exactly the same things I do. I can set off first. I may meet people along the way.

A few smaller thoughts have come along for the ride, too.

I want to be more consistent about going to bed early. Getting up early does not always happen, but I like how much fresher the next morning feels after a decent night.

On the commute, I have also enjoyed replacing some scrolling with podcasts. A few Chinese-language shows I have been listening to are:

• Shengdong Morning (生动早咖啡);
• Qingdao Kuaima (轻刀快马), especially the episode “A Letter to Myself Ten Years Ago” (写给十年前自己的一封信);
• Zhixing Xiaojiuguan (知行小酒馆), particularly its conversations about money and personal finance.

I have kept the Chinese titles here so the shows are easier to find. They are simply a few personal favourites, not a definitive list.

Writing gives me a reason to pay attention

This is my first serious attempt at this kind of personal essay.

I had wanted to write one for a while, but kept getting stuck on the same question: what would I write about?

After some time spent reading, listening, travelling, and living through a few things, I found that I did have something to say. Having a place to put those thoughts now gives me another reason to pay attention.

I do not always have to hunt for a topic. There is material in the life I am already living.

Bilibili has been one source of that input: videos about learning, everyday life, technology, and travel. I also look at technology discussions on X when I can access it. There is plenty to explore; the harder part is giving what I encounter enough attention to form a thought of my own.

Less time arguing with myself

A line attributed to Shi Tiesheng in a China News Service compilation captures the feeling:

Treat others' doubtful eyes as will-o'-the-wisps, and walk your own road through the night.

The attribution in that compilation differs from the one in my original draft; I have not yet checked the passage against the original work.

For now, I want to spend more time experiencing life. Eat alone at a small restaurant. Go for an evening walk. Spend time with family. Be more patient with the people around me.

A trip does not have to end at a famous landmark. Lately, simply getting outside has been enough to make me notice the trees and flowers nearby.

Sometimes the view has barely changed. My attention has.

There is a Chinese phrase I like: home is where the heart finds peace. I am beginning to understand that as a way of being somewhere, rather than a place I have to reach.

So if I want to travel, I can make a start. If I want to eat alone, study quietly for a while, or take a walk, I can do that too. The perfect moment is unlikely to arrive with an announcement.

Having just finished high school, I suppose this is where I am expected to end with a grand call to action. 😂

But I have said enough for one bus ride. I hope we all eat well, sleep well, and make a little room to enjoy our days.

Good night, friends.